Wednesday 5:14 PM. Boston, Mass
Locale: Armory Street, a Two Lane Road
Perpetrator: Black Ford Explorer

"Dan," you may say, "I love your blog. Obviously. But I have a concern. What if I'm not in my car, and I see you coming? Have I missed my shot? Is there anything I can do to be moronic enough to make your entry for the day?"

Yes, my intrepid reader. Yes you can. You see, for today's incident, our winner hadn't even made it into her car yet. She was so determined to be a nuisance that she decided to start before she got behind the wheel.

So her huge SUV is parked on the side of a two lane road. Now, sometimes the lanes are wide enough to facilitate such a parking position. These lanes however did not seem like they were suitable for such a placement. Now, as I'm one who parks often on busy city streets, I make my best effort to enter my car with ninja-like swiftness. I wait for break in the cars, and leap into the drivers seat, with the nimble skill of a mongoose. This lady's switfness was more on the level of a 3 toed sloth.

She gets to the driver's side door, then moves to the hood of the car and puts her purse on it. She places her coffee down and starts rummaging through her purse. Now the opposing traffic, not wishing to commit vehicular manslaughter, is forced to go well across the double yellow line, and cut into my lane. Our winner remains completely oblivious, and as I stop at the stop sign ahead, I look back and see that she has still not gotten in the car. Maybe it's just me, but if you can't find your keys or phone or whatever you need before getting in the car, take your time on the side of the car that doesn't have 2 ton piles of metal cruising by at 35mph. Unless you feel like winding up on someone's windshield...or worse, in my blog.