Tuesday 6:24 PM. Everett, Mass
Locale: Broadway St, a two lane road.
Perpetrator: Red BMW

To quote the late, great George Carlin:
"Have you ever noticed that when you're drivin', anyone goin' slower than you is an idiot? And anyone goin' faster than you is a maniac?"
This could not more perfectly sum up how I felt going home. As I've mentioned previously, the two bridges I can use to get out of the city are both under construction. Each has lost a lane, the Tobin going from three lanes to two, and (what apparently isn't a bridge as much as a road over water, according to google maps) is two lanes down to one. So, it's pretty much a toss up between these two routes. Neither one feels faster than the other. The Tobin is faster once you get through the traffic, but the traffic takes forever to get there. The other route moves gradually, but has more stoplights and busses. You're stuck between a rock and a slow place.

This particular day I decide to go the non-Tobin route, as the traffic to the Tobin seems particularly frozen. As I navigate through a 2 lane merges and a rotary, I now enter the traffic light gauntlet. I can see the bus ahead of me, and I slowly approach it. It pulls over to the side to let people off, and I victoriously cruise around, until I nearly rear end this BMW.

This person must have been afraid of a bumper sticker on the car in front of them, because they seemed to require about 300 feet between them and the car they were following at all times. They very cautiously handled traffic lights, even slowing down as they got to them, just in case they turned yellow. Finally, after following them for about 10 minutes (which probably should have been about 4), they turn on their signal at a light. I can literally see my apartment from here, and can just feel my couch's warm embrace. I should have known better. It's a BMW after all. As they're turning through the intersection, something spooked them, because they dead stopped right in the middle of the turn. Then went. Then stopped. Then went again. Let me tell you, as soon as I had the room, I got right out of there and headed on. Not before giving them the ol' thumbs up so they know that their overactive brake pedal earned them my blog entry for the day.