Tuesday 5:04 PM. Boston, Mass
Locale: Powell St, a standard two lane road.
Perpetrator: Green Ford Escape

My drive in yesterday was a bit worrisome. People drove like they actually earned their licenses. It was astounding. I didn't see a single bone-headed move. I was truly troubled. I knew it would hinge on the ride home in order to find a winner for today. As always, my evening commute did not let me down.

Today was a failure of the basics. Stuff that they ask you for your permit test. It was nuts. It's like people saw me coming, and had to mess up the simplest of driving principles. There was a myriad of options at my disposal. It's as if they knew my ride in was way too simple, and they tried to outdo each other by being increasingly boneheaded. I could talk about the pickup-truck that almost sideswiped me on the highway because whatever he was doing was more important than staying in his lane. I could talk about the people that cut off an intersection for the entire cycle of my green light. I could even talk about the SUV that couldn't figure out where they were going in the rotary, and slammed on the breaks, to then take an exit (gues what, it's a rotary, you can go around again if you miss your exit!)

There was a feat however that trumped all of these. Someone screwing up something so basic, it boggled my mind: turn signals.

The turn signal is one of the few direct connections we drivers have to one another. Between Horns, Warning Lights, and middle fingers, it is the only one that is impossible to misunderstand. Unless you're incapable of using it correctly.

This person starts out in the middle of the road, and turns on her left signal. I see an oncoming car, and a street to the left. Naturally, I assume she wants to turn down this street. As the car goes by however, I see her pull all the way to the right side of the street, while her left signal is still blinking. So now I make an assumption that she's trying to attempt a turn around, so I stop and give her the room to do so. She does nothing. I give a friendly wave, as a way to say "go ahead." Still on the right side of the road, she then switches ther turn signal to the right blinker. "Ok..." I think to myself, and I start to go around her. She then, blinker still clicking, pulls back into the middle of the road in front of me. Now I'm lost. I have no idea what this one is doing. We approach another street, and the blinker switches to the left side again. "Ah. I see. Wrong street. I understand now," I say to myself. "She must just be lost."

An oncoming car goes by, and to my disbelief, she pulls over to the right side of the road again. Left blinker still flickering.

At this point I just give up, and drive past her. I have no idea what you were thinking lady, but, whatever it was, it got you my award for today.